The Power of Prayer

Everytime I leave the office, I say my goodbyes to the people who are still working. In IT, you know a lot of developers do it as programming is a creative process. I have a few colleagues who are Pinoys and I always make it a point that I'd drop by their cubicles before I leave. My favorite expression to them is Magpakabait ka (be good). This evening, it's my turn to be left behind and W, my Pinay colleague who sits next to me, said the same thing. "Yes, I will," I replied. Then put my hands together as if in the act of praying. She said, being good is doing good not in praying to be good. Now, this is what I also believe. Being good has got nothing to do with praying. She said, it's like praying to be rich. You can pray all you want but no amount of praying, if praying is all you do, can make you rich. You have to work (hard) for it. That is obvious of course. What is not obvious for the believers though is this: you need not pray at all in order to accomplish anything, including getting rich. Prayer has got nothing to do with work. I asked her if she's heard about Occam's Razor. She said she haven't so I proceeded to explain it to her. What you have just told me is practical Occam's Razor. I will give you another example. I have this paper cup on my table. I placed it in front of me and pretended I was praying. I told her, I can pray all I want but the paper cup wont move, no Divine Intervention coming my way. I know it and she knows it and you know it but if you are a fanatic, you wont be able to accept it, but it's true nonetheless. What I can do is use my hand to move the cup, which I did. Normally, one would not see anything unusual in this simplistic exercise. It's not an issue as moving the cup is a straightforward undertaking where there are not much unknowns involved. But as more unknowns are added into the situation, as more ignorance is involved, bigger and bigger portion of the exercise are attributed by the religious that a Cosmic Force is out there helping us thus, "sa awa ng diyos, nailipat ko yung tasa." Such is the supposed power of prayer. To me, it's nothing but a function of the believer's ignorance and misguided belief.

I Love My Pointers!

As I mentioned in the earlier post, I am very reluctant to switch to Java as my main programming language at work. Why? I guess one reason is that I have this fetish of feeling the wires of the machine in my own programs. I don't want to stay away from the 0s and 1s. As much as possible, I like to have the illusion of control on my pointers, memory, and registers. I tried looking for assembly language work but they were scarce then, and scarcer now than before, so I settled for C programming. When I first did C++/C programming, I immediately loved it. My cousin wanted to have a pulldown menu system in his Clipper application and I volunteered to write one for him, in C. I read up on how to interface Clipper with C modules. It was sweet. I like to visualize my functions on how they will look in the stack, how my data structures will populate the heap, what the application footprint will be. Because of this, I was slower than necessary in finishing my programs. I tend to do premature optimization and always conscious of memory footprint and application performance. This is a product of my abnormal passion to do assembly programming. I remember in COBOL class, my teacher Miss Chua noticed that I was having trouble with my workstation so she approached me to ask me what seemed to be the problem with my COBOL program. The assembly language program I was debugging in the COBOL lab was hung and even a Ctrl+Alt+Del wont do to abort it as the BIOS interrupts were messed up already. Yes, that was DOS era and I am talking about BIOS, interrupt handling, and a COM program as opposed to an EXE program. I was debugging a small COM program that's supposed to be for my Operating Systems class under Mr. Didulo, a memory-resident utility I affectionately called Looney Tools. It was made to intercept the BIOS keyboard interrupt and scan the key combination of Ctrl+Alt+T and it will kick in, much like the Borland Sidekick. She asked me if I wanted to do my COBOL machine problem in assembly. I restrained myself so I wouldn't get into trouble any further but deep inside of me, I wanted to scream: YES! Fuck COBOL, give my pointers back!

13 Years Of Being A Code Monkey

Next month, I shall have been programming, officially as my job, for thirteen years. In all these years I have done mostly C++/C programming in various platforms including DOS, Windows, and now UNIX (Solaris). But nowadays, I have been spending less than half of my time on programming and finding myself doing more and more of paper pushing, chasing signatures, and being the dump site of the miscellaneous stuffs that other co-programmers don't want to do - mainly, paperwork. I am starting to feel I am losing that technical side the more I do this. Part of this is that I have been resisting being absorbed by the Java wave as I seem to be reluctant to spend considerable effort on getting acquainted with the Java class libraries. I have been doing mostly C++/C programming and with which I feel I am still not an expert, yet I must build my skills again from the ground up for yet another programming language. I have many books that I have yet to read but my motivation is so low. Part of this is because I don't see myself as programming in Java full-time but rather, the skills that I need to acquire is to give me a certain level of proficiency where I can jump into the code and fix small items to help the team by focusing on the things that don't seem trivial and easy while others devote their time and energy on solving the biggest issues of the day. Any problem that will require longer time to do than a day or two will just drag on and on as I get interrupted with the other stuffs that I would be looking after, e.g., replying to trivial queries from other groups, attending meetings, reporting status, and so on. I know this look like I am stuck badly but I see something at the end of all this. I know there is some value in what I do but I cannot give a name to it somehow. At any rate, I can go back to programming any time if I choose to yet I haven't done so. I am at the crossroad. I am re-thinking my next move all this time. Meanwhile, I am giving myself a few petty projects that should finally help me re-gain that competitive technical skills that I will be needing in the next few months.

Independence Day

In my opinion, you don't have the magnitude to imply things like what you belive in, because if there's no God then you wouldn't have a purpose at all in this world even if you control the whole world with your computers.

If you will read "The Purpose Driven Life" and "Five People You Meet in Heaven" by Mitch Albom you'll be enlightened.

Believe you me I got this piece of unsolicited advice from somebody who admitted he got agitated because I wrote a statement of fact: that I don't believe in the concept of god. Based on this mere statement, he was able to write a lot about me. Frankly, I don't know how to react to his post because I don't like to stir the forum with a non-issue. But I think he read too much between the lines, flamed me, but got a blowback instead. Good for him.

I must tell him though, that the people who read The Purpose Driven Life are still in doubt about (a) their purpose, or (b) their life. Seriously though, I haven't read that book myself and I will do so only if somebody will lend me his copy - by all means, let me see if I will be enlightened! Do I need a purpose in life? Naaah. I am happy with what I have and what I am and what I live for. It doesn't sit well with me the idea that there is some cosmic force (farce?) out there that is interested in my life and how I live it, whether I screw up or not.

Happy Independence Day. I hope today your mind is free.

New Dawn Fades

I am listening to Joy Division - my reliable source of self-induced depression. This song is one of the most intense I've ever heard and is a personal favorite.




New Dawn Fades (by Joy Division)

A change of speed, a change of style
A change of scene, with no regrets
A chance to watch, admire the distance
Still occupied, though you forget
Different colours, different shades
Over each mistakes were made
I took the blame
Directionless so plain to see
A loaded gun won't set you free
So you say
We'll share a drink and step outside
An angry voice and one who cried:
"I'll give you everything and more,
the strain's too much, can't take much more."
Oh, I've walked on water, danced with fire
Can't seem to take it anymore
It was me, waiting for me this time
Hoping for something more
Hoping for something else
Me, waiting for me this time
Hoping for something more.

Here is a great acoustic cover by John Frusciante. Please take note that the lyrics is somewhat different.

Zard Vocalist Sakai Izumi Dead At 40

I was shocked and saddened to hear the news, though a week late, about the passing of Sakai Izumi, the vocalist of the very popular J-pop group Zard. When I first came to Japan, I immediately felt at home because of J-pop. I bought this cheap component system with MD player/recorder entirely from the points I got when I bought my SLR film camera from Yodobashi. I would borrow CDs from this CD/video/DVD rental shop near my place in Hatagaya (near Shinjuku via Toei Shinjuku line) and I'd record them in MDs. Zard was one of the bands I liked listening to because of the very enthusiastic beat that made me feel light and happy. Zard's melodies set me into an optimistic mood.

Here is one song I like to listen to.

She will be missed by fans.

Being Blunt

My manager and a peer were discussing their project this morning and joking about it while I was staring at my PC when I thought I heard my name mentioned again so I peeked behind my monitor and asked them what it was they're discussing. They were telling me, as a kind of joke, that my manager should first convince me about something (I didn't really catch what it was) because I am hard to convince, as I am an atheist. My manager said, "but he is not an atheist" and turning to me repeated it, "you are not an atheist" and I replied: "What is it to you? Is it relevant to your project?" Yes was my peers reply. I asked them again, "how is my lack of belief relevant to your discussion or project?" My manager insisted that I am not an atheist. But I stood firm and asked him again "why is my belief a relevant subject in our work environment?" Sensing that I was serious, they changed the subject. Sometimes, you have to be blunt in order to deliver the message.

PhilippineAtheists.Org Is Offline

It will be back soon. Apologies.

Rebranded!

I have renamed the blog from Pinoy Infidel, Inc. to Kapanalig Sa Wala to give it a more Pinoy flavor. Also, I have revived a dead blog to separate my posts that are not about atheism.

Voter registration

I was able to vote in the last election but not without a slight snag. My name was still in the voters' list but when I was to cast my vote, my name was crossed out already in the list inside the precinct (not the one posted just outside). The chairman (I don't know her) was for a moment at a loss. I insisted that I be allowed to vote and she relented.

My question is, how does the COMELEC decide who should be struck out from the list and who decides? What are the criteria used? I have been abroad for over seven years now but I always make it a point to come home to Laguna at least three times a year. I am building my residence in Laguna and am planning of opening up my business very soon, right in the same barangay where I am a registered voter. I have vested interest in the future of Laguna and have as much the same right to vote as anybody who is staying in Laguna.

Inefficient utility company or deliberate?

I was in the Philippines during the last election. During the ballot counting, as this is not without precedent in in my hometown, power was cut-off many times, and at least in one instance, only in the portion where ballot counting was happening. This happened in the second level of the public market which is temporarily converted into public high school classrooms. I posted this in the community forum, just to ask the question since it seems it has not been mentioned at all:

I am wondering why the brownouts were never mentioned at all? Is it not important?

I was in Ibaba and in the upper palenke during the ballot counting and in one instance, the brownout hit only the upper palenke while in the heat of counting the ballots. After sometime, Ibaba had the power restored but the upper palenke continued to have no power for some time. It's totally irrational. It makes one think that it can only be explained as a purely deliberate action by somebody playing tricks on our townfolks as it happened a couple of times. I am not saying it's this or that camp. It could very well be just a prank but I am not sure if any effort has been made to find out why power was lost only in the upper palenke during the crucial moment of ballot counting. I have never seen anything like it before.

Just wondering.

I am waiting for the first ad hominem I'll get with this post. Pinoys are very sensitive and always resort to ad hominems as if it's always the best argument.

Freethought discussion group

I will be experimenting on organizing an informal group of freethinkers or with people interested in what freethought is about. When on vacation in the Philippines, I spend most of my time in my hometown in Laguna so I think it's better to have a local group there where it will be more convenient for me. So far, I have received no email. I will keep the thread alive in case somebody notices, or maybe it will take off one day. One day may be months and months ahead. I'll be waiting. Anyway, my library is still not setup. I would like to have a plan of the library to be built soon. I will be stuffing it with books on history, philosophy, science, and religion. I envision a cafe+library style venue where there are few coffee tables next to the bookshelves. I already shipped many books but they are languishing in the stockroom waiting to be re-discovered. I will make sure the library will be available by the end of this year.

Updated PA.org Forum

I took advantage of the Golden Week holidays to update the Philippine Atheists forum consolidating forums and posting initiating a few new topics. Hopefully, I can sustain this for some time until it becomes self-sustaining.

Re-organizing Pinoy atheists

There is again an initiative to register a truly atheist organization for and by Pinoys. This time, it's being started by somebody new to the Pinoy Atheists mailing list. If you are interested, please visit the Pinoy Atheists for details.

Priest as drinking buddy

This article from the Inquirer reminded me of an occasion many many years ago. When a HS friend of mine had his son baptized, one of the godfathers was the Paete parish priest of the time, also named Tony. He was a drinker and being the priest that he was, he can really sing (I always think priests are good singers) likes to sing as well. In fact, he had his own karaoke machine to bring along with him. While drinking, he told us stories and anecdotes about sex. Yes, he was a priest; a Catholic priest. I wonder where he is now?

After Holy Week

Somebody commented that Holy Week must be the happiest holidays in Paete. I can only agree with him. It's during this time of year that friends and family alike gather together like that other holiday - Christmas - only better: no pesky ina-anaks. LOLs. The good part of Holy Week is that Christians or more precisely the Catholics and Aglipayans are not supposed to be obviously happy during this time and must pretend that they are grieving, and hence must not be somewhere else having fun like the heathens in Boracay. So your typical Paetenian Catholic family finds itself holed up in a small town of about 20,000 people with nowhere to go but in spite of it are genuinely happier. What I like about this special week is that people are up and down around town on slippers and pambahay endlessly checking the on-going preparation for the evening prusisyon. Most probably I'd bump into somebody I haven't seen for years. This year, I couldn't take a break since I have a more important reason to take my vacation next month. I wish I can take my usual vacation during next year's Lenten season. Until then, belated Happy Holy Week to the Paetenians!

A Matter Of Inconvenience

I am starting to have a reputation in the office regarding my non-belief. I don't know why it had to be so since our company values diversity highly and put it in concrete written policy for everyone else to understand. Every opportunity, the word "diversity" is emphasized. Something that I fully believe to be sincere and effective. I believe religion has no place in our work environment so this incident came as a real surprise for me. Just the other day, A, was talking with R about something related to their project when I passed by them. I had to excuse myself since R was blocking the aisle. Then out of the blue R called on me and ask me: you don't believe in anything do you? I was a bit taken off. It was loud enough for everybody to hear and I can say I was a little bit "embarrassed" by the frankness of the question. I said, of course I believe in something. Please be more specific. In god. R: you don't believe in god do you? No, I don't. A: what? I am sure you must believe in something higher or anything like that. If you define god, I may answer in the affirmative. Now if you'll excuse me. Why did they have to do that? I never discussed my atheism with them. In fact, I don't discuss my atheism at work. Specially at work. It's a non-issue. I work in a company of diverse culture and presumably of belief. But could it be that some people simply assume that this diversity doesn't extend to non-belief in the same sense that many Filipinos simply assume that freedom of religion does not extend to freedom from religion since the constitution clearly states god almighty. Why does atheism seem inconvenient to the average believer? If I don't believe in their god, why is it a big deal? It's not that people of other religions share their belief so why is atheism being singled out?

Rizal No Retracto

I found a gem of a blog. I am sure I will be back for more.

Short Film: Qwerty

In the Pinoy Atheists mailing list, somebody posted a link to a short film by one Paolo Dy. My knee-jerk reaction was that I thought it was lifted from an X-Files episode. Maybe it's just a coincidence but the many similarities cannot be denied. Of course I wish it's really an original by a Pinoy artist but I have to entertain my doubts. Today I have some time so I searched the net to be sure that my initial reaction carried some weight. I found the actual episode titled Conduit and it was first aired in late 1993. A few links will help, here and here, with the latter even have a snapshot of the mosaic of the missing girl, Ruby.

How did it happen?

Maybe some alien civilization had abducted Paolo Dy in his childhood and implanted in his memory this particular episode of the very popular TV series, or maybe there was a time machine and the X-Files script writers saw Dy's short film and used it as a sub-plot to an upcoming episode back in '93. Maybe Dy watched this episode (very likely given the popularity of the TV series) and the memory quickly settled in his subconscious and this short film is some sort of an artistic Freudian slip. Whatever the case may be, and if I find some time, let me try visiting the nearest Tsutaya shop and borrow some old DVDs so I can make a better comparison. For now, all I can say is: the truth is out there.

BTW, the short film itself is not bad, to the credit of Mr. Dy.

Philippine democracy is a farce

If the Filipino masses are intelligent enough to collectively arrive at decisions that are well argued and well thought of, our democracy will be a lot better shape than it is now. With the upcoming election, it's so obvious that our "democracy" is a cosmic farce. It will be proven once again when the votes are cast and counted, the winners announced. This is true at the local level, this is true for the national level. Our criteria and mechanism for choosing our public servants and leaders are irrational and not reliable. It is to the interest of the powers-that-be that the status quo be undisturbed. They need to keep the masses in line in order for them to continue to rule and enrich themselves. Our system is nothing but a public battle ground for families aspiring for power. Some things never change. We still have the ago-go Oreta of the Aquino clan as Exhibit A for this madness. We have old dynasties persisting, and new ones in the making. To my fellow Pinoys: congratulations, you deserve the clowns.